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An unofficial goblin mode gift guide: 15 present ideas for the unkempt and unhinged

Chaos reigns.
By Haley Henschel  on 
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a collage of goblin mode-inspired gift ideas
Credit: @dril via Twitter / MossUnlimited / WheredUGetThatHat / Leatherology / Sargento / Panic Inc. / Mashable composite

Amid global turmoil, mounting economic stress, and pent-up pandemic-related restlessness, 2022 was the year the world snapped and said, "that's it — I'm going goblin mode."

Not to be confused with "goblincore" (or goth cottagecore), goblin mode is a state of being whose definition changes slightly depending on the source. Over on Twitter, where "goblin mode" was in circulation for years before it went mainstream with a fake Julia Fox headline this February, the phrase is loosely used to describe any behavior that's remotely chaotic. (See also: acting unhinged, being a weird little guy.)

Reddit is a house divided. One viral post on r/confessions goes the literal route, with the goblin mode-engaged author admitting to "creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position" and "pick up various different 'trinkets' and put them in my bag while saying stuff like 'I’ll be having that' and laughing maniacally." Another from r/relationship_advice is decidedly not safe for work.

Meanwhile, the Oxford English Dictionary calls goblin mode "a type of behaviour which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations." Nothing but respect for my 2022 Word of the Year.

This is all to say that there are factions of "goblin mode" that anyone can identify with or devote themselves to. (Even Stephen King.) It's schlepping around town, horking down snacks, going on a bender, yielding to intrusive thoughts, and embracing our most primitive, deranged urges. It stands against everything "That Girl." And it's fodder for some extremely fun, off-kilter gift ideas.

Below, you'll find our picks for goblin mode-inspired presents that start at under $5. Go feral.

a screenshot from "untitled goose game"
Credit: Panic Inc.

"Untitled Goose Game" (opens in a new tab)

For gamers

Before goblin mode, there was goose mode. One of Mashable's favorite video games of 2019, this hit puzzle stealth game puts players in the webbed feet of a delinquent fowl who's hell-bent on causing chaos in a quaint English town. It's now available on PlayStation 4 and the Nintendo Switch.
the Pat McGrath Labs' Mothership I: Subliminal Eyeshadow Palette against a purple and green gradient background
Credit: Pat McGrath Labs / Mashable composite

Pat McGrath Labs' Mothership I: Subliminal Eyeshadow Palette (opens in a new tab)

For muses

Julia Fox may have denied ever "going goblin mode" while dating K*nye W*st, but the exaggerated eye lewks she served in their public appearances together were effectively the makeup equivalent. The Xtreme Black shade from this Pat McGrath eyeshadow palette is key, per a Fashionista interview with the legendary makeup artist behind those now-iconic wings.
a composite image of the dril archives from a dril tweet
Credit: @dril via Twitter

The Dril Archives (opens in a new tab)

For the extremely online

Rejoice, for the archives of Twitter's preeminent shitposter now come in paperback form. The 10,000-tweet tome is available on Amazon in four different "flavors," including "ETERNAL" (chronological), "REFINED" (alphabetical), "BELOVED" (most-liked), and "CHAOTIC" (random). In the words of wint himself, "Which path will you Chose."
a goblin mode hat from the etsy shop WheredUGetThatHat against a purple and green background
Credit: WheredUGetThatHat / Mashable composite

A "goblin mode" hat from WheredUGetThatHat (opens in a new tab)

For trendsetters

If you're all-in on the goblin lifestyle (or just want everyone else to know you Get It), WheredUGetThatHat's popular Etsy shop features dad hats embroidered with meme-y phrases like "goblin mode" and "your honor, my client was in goblin mode." They come in myriad different hat and thread color combinations, including a SURPRISE option.
a close-up of a person holding a clump of sheet moss
Credit: MossUnlimited

Moss (opens in a new tab)

For plant people

Tired: Variegated monsteras that need to be babied. Wired: Lush, hardy sheet moss that you can plop in a closed terrarium and decorate. Etsy customers have nothing but excellent things to say about the one-quart clumps sold by MossUnlimited of Forks, Washington, which also offers various lichen, driftwood, coral, and foliage.
a bag of sargento shredded cheese against a green and purple background
Credit: Sargento / Mashable composite

A bag of shredded cheese (opens in a new tab)

For insomniacs

Eating fistfuls of shredded cheese right out of the bag at 3 a.m. is a goblin mode rite of passage. I am personally a thick-cut, extra-sharp cheddar girly, but let your heart steer you on this one.
two pairs of hands wearing chip fingers' finger guards
Credit: Chip Fingers / Mashable composite

Chip Fingers finger guards (opens in a new tab)

For snackers

Made from food-grade silicone that's dishwasher-safe and heat-resistant, these funny little finger covers make Cheeto dust and Dorito residue a non-issue for serial snackers. "I bought them for my husband as a joke," one Amazon customer wrote in their 5/5-star review. "But the joke is on me because we use them more than I ever thought we would."
Dopamine Goods' Seasonal Depression Heavy Metal Tee against a green and purple gradient background
Credit: Dopamine Goods / Mashable composite

Dopamine Goods' Seasonal Depression Heavy Metal Tee (opens in a new tab)

For festive folks

'Tis the season. Dopamine Goods' lo-fi merch collection includes delightfully chaotic gems like this shirt, which captures the crazed essence of Trying To Keep It Together during the darkest, shortest days of the year. (Bonus: Thirty percent of the shop's proceeds go to abortion funds.)
three people wearing hanes sweatpants
Credit: Hanes / Mashable composite

Baggy sweatpants (opens in a new tab)

For loungers

The official uniform of goblin moders everywhere involves a big-ass T-shirt and some oversized sweatpants. This top-rated drawstring pair from Hanes' EcoSmart collection is made with plush mid-weight cotton/poly fleece, which includes some recycled polyester from plastic bottles. They're available in six colors and sizes small to 3XL.
a man and a woman modeling the comfy original wearable blanket
Credit: The Comfy / Mashable composite

A wearable blanket (opens in a new tab)

For couch potatoes

A step up from the humble Snuggie (and slightly less dorky to wear in public), the one-size-fits-all Comfy Original wearable blanket is a "Shark Tank" hit that's racked up over 80,000 5/5-star reviews on Amazon. It features a massive kangaroo pocket, a fluffy Sherpa lining, and a fleece microfiber outer layer that comes in different colors and patterns.
a mug from da share z0ne against a purple and green gradient background
Credit: da share z0ne / Mashable composite

da share z0ne's JUST WALK OUT coffee mug (opens in a new tab)

For quitters

If you bring an "I'd rather be in a dark cave somewhere" vibe to life's endless obligations, heed the advice of this 11-ounce mug from da share z0ne's merch shop. (It's another anonymous account that should be immediately familiar to anyone who spends time on Weird Twitter.) Admin approves.
side by side images of two leather drawstring pouches on a desk
Credit: Leatherology

A leather pouch (opens in a new tab)

For trinket collectors

According to the Redditor behind the literal "goblin mode" post, "'trinkets' can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils." Leatherology's full-grain leather drawstring pouches feature a microsuede lining that'll keep fine jewelry, tech accessories, and other small valuables protected.
a gasoline-scented candle from the stinky candle co.
Credit: The Stinky Candle Co.

A gasoline-scented candle (opens in a new tab)

For people who let their intrusive thoughts win

This 4-ounce candle from the Chicago area's Stinky Candle Co. (apt name) smells like "the forbidden fragrance of gasoline...with no risk of brain damage." It has a burn time of around 30 hours, which feels like more of a challenge than anything. Other goblin mode-adjacent scents from the company's collection include Nacho Cheese, Potting Soil, and Body Odor.
cover art for the book "Goblin Mode: How to Get Cozy, Embrace Imperfection, and Thrive in the Muck" against a green and purple background
Credit: Quirk Books

"Goblin Mode: How to Get Cozy, Embrace Imperfection, and Thrive in the Muck" (opens in a new tab)

For aspiring goblin moders

Some people are born in goblin mode; for others, it's a vocation. Author McKayla Coyle's forthcoming lifestyle guide features tips on how to "decorate, dress, craft, forage, and live according to the goblin principles of community, diversity, proud weirdness, and joyful mess." It's set for release in late June 2023, with preorders live now.
a close-up of a woman vacuuming up popcorn under a kitchen cabinet using a BLACK+DECKER dustbuster
Credit: BLACK+DECKER

A Dustbuster (opens in a new tab)

For when post-goblin mode clarity sets in

One can only exist in shameless filth for so long. BLACK+DECKER's bestselling cordless handheld vacuum is great for sweeps of carpets, furniture, and tabletops, with a rotating nozzle and a pull-out crevice tool that can reach tight spaces at weird angles. Onto the next "-core" aesthetic trend.

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Haley Henschel

Haley is a Mashable shopping reporter based in Chicago. Before joining the team, she covered politics for The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, wrote about exotic pet ownership for the Wisconsin Center for Investigative Journalism, and blogged for several Jersey Shore stars. In her free time, she enjoys playing video games and hanging out with her parrot (Melon) and dog (Pierogi). You can follow her on Twitter at @haleyhenschel or reach her via email at [email protected].


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