The best dating sites for introverts, wallflowers, and anyone hesitant to try online dating

Read our full review of Match.

Who's online: In short, this site is probably filled with your neighbors, old coworkers, new coworkers, and more. Match(opens in a new tab) is pretty popular with members with diverse backgrounds who share a few common goals: to meet other singles, find dates, form romantic relationships, and meet life partners. 

How it works: Match(opens in a new tab) is pretty much an open dating service. There's absolutely no limit to who you connect with, or how often. After you set your dating criteria, the site will display possible matches. You can tweak or fine-tune the results as you wish. 

Features for introverts: With plenty of filtering options, you can search for matches based on common interests and hobbies, so you'll have something to chat about right away. And if you enjoy browsing anonymously, there's a feature called Incognito Mode that allows you to view profiles without the other person knowing.

What it'll cost you: You can join for free, but to use most features you'll need a premium membership. Prices fluctuate some, but start around $45 for a month-to-month plan. As with pretty much all dating sites, the longer time commitment you make up front, the better month-to-month prices you'll get, though it is worth noting Match no longer offers their six-month free guarantee.

Who's online: Hinge(opens in a new tab) is Tinder and Bumble's slightly more serious sibling, without being quite as serious as match. It's consistently been known as the go-to for people open to something long-term, but willing to see where a match may take them. The app also has additional gender options and a batch of LGBTQ specific prompts, so it's not just catered to straight, binary/cisgender people.

How it works: A Hinge profile is made up of six photos/videos and three prompts, plus basic personal information like age, height, location, education, career, drinking habits, etc.

On your discover page, you'll see one potential match at a time and you're able to like or respond to any of their prompts or photos — just tap on the heart in the lower corner and you'll be given the option to type something in or just leave it at a like. In your "likes you" section you'll see everyone who has liked or responded to something on your profile and you have the option to respond, let them start the conversation, or pass on them.

The free version of Hinge only lets you see one like at a time and you have to make a decision on them to see the next one. Preferred members can see all of their matches at once and choose which ones they want to respond to first. Free users get eight likes per day, while preferred members can send out as many likes as they please.

Features for introverts: Because the app is so prompt-focused, introverts will have a jumping-off point for starting a conversation. The prompts also allow you to show off some of your personality that might not come across naturally if you're more reserved. The audio prompts are an especially fun way to putting your personality out there without feeling so much like you're putting yourself out there. Since you see who likes you one profile at a time and are limited (in the free version) to only so many likes daily, there's no pressure engage in every introverts' nightmare and keep up conversations with 10 different people at once.

If you're not keen on meeting in person right away but still want to go on dates, Hinge also has integrated video dating.

What it'll cost you: The basic version is completely free and is pretty extensive. You can totally use the app long-term without paying a cent — you'll just have to sift through matches one-by-one. If you like the freedom to browse, you might want to upgrade. Preferred members also get their profiles seen more, so it could be worth it if you're really looking for a relationship. One month of preferred is $34.99, three months is $64.99, and six months is $99.99.

Who's online: You'll find much of the same crowd from Tinder on Bumble, but thanks to the app's format, lose much of the spam messages or dead matches you'll find on Tinder.

How it works: Meet the dating app version of the Sadie Hawkins dance, created by ex-Tinder employees. In an attempt to correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women are required to message first with Bumble. It pushes some women out of their comfort zone, but like Tinder, you'll at least know that someone also swiped right on you before making a move. It also takes the pressure off of dudes who feel like they need to start the conversation every time. (For same-sex matches, either party can start things off.) 

You'll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you're interested. It's a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature to find strictly platonic friends and a LinkedIn-ish networking feature called Bizz in attempts to remind everyone that it's not just a hookup app.

Features for introverts: Matches expire after 24 hours so you can't agonize over that opening line for too long, and your match list won't be filled with people you forgot you matched with 57 weeks ago. It's a win-win setup for introverted people who don't want to be bombarded with messages from people who have no intention of following through and for those who need a little pressure to get the conversation going. 

What it'll cost you: Bumble has two paid tiers, Boost and Premium. Both include features such as backtracking, extending your time, and unlimited swipes. With Premium, you'll also get access to advanced filters, Beeline, and Incognito mode, but with one week starting at $19.99, it does come at quite a cost.  

Read our full review of OkCupid.

Who's online: OkCupid(opens in a new tab) boasts forming more than 91 million connections every year and 50,000 dates made every week. Most of its users are between 25 and 34.

How it works: Algorithms, formulas, heuristics — the site uses a lot of crazy math stuff to help people find their matches faster. Besides the numbers, the mix of straightforward questions, like "Do you think it’s important to have an emotional connection before a physical one", and more lightly revealing ones like "Do you clap when the plane lands?". With each question, you also note what answers you'll accept and how important each question is to you. You'll see a percentage rating on each profile you encounter, letting you know the odds of success. 

Features for introverts: You can really be yourself on OkCupid(opens in a new tab). Whether you're looking for the relationship of your dreams, a one-night stand, or a sham marriage (seriously, we’re not judging), OkCupid doesn't care unless you're being a jerk about it. On OkCupid, you’re more than just a photo, you can share stories, your passions, and pretty much anything else you want and feel totally at home. 

What it'll cost you:  A basic account is always free. But there are some paid extras you can enjoy if you want a more premium experience. If you pay for the Basic membership, you can cut out the ads, send unlimited likes, filter out your dealbreakers, and see everyone who's messaged you at once. 

If you spring for Premium, you'll get access to an incognito mode that lets you be invisible to everyone on the site unless you like or message them. Basic memberships start at $14.99 per month and Premium start at $24.99 per month. 

Who's online: EliteSingles' sibling site, SilverSingles, is geared towards people who are 50 and older and looking to jump into the dating pool or jump back into the dating pool after a hiatus. The site boasts "mature, older, and senior singles" who are mainly looking for long-lasting connections instead of quick flings. With over 20% of users older than 50, dating doesn't have to mean fishing for people your age on sites like eHarmony and Match.

How it works: After answering some basic questions about yourself and your desired partner, you'll be able to rank how important qualities like age and education level are to a potential match. Then, you'll be able to take SilverSingles' in-depth personality questionnaire, which uses the same five-factor model that EliteSingles uses to explore your personality and relationship desires, from how you handle conflict to what you're looking for in a partner.

How it helps introverts: Since there's no swiping involved, you won't come across tons of matches every day with the pressure to message each person you see. SilverSingles does the hard work for you, and uses its thorough compatibility model to send you between three to five ideal matches every day.

Each profile is rich with information, too, so you can find out a lot about the person you matched with before you decide to chat with them.

What it'll cost you: While the site is free to sign up and take the questionnaire, you'll have to fork over some cash to actually get matches and chat with other users. The plans are broken down into three types: three months, six months and 12 months. The three month plan gives you intelligent matchmaking and unlimited communication for $17.95 per month. The sixth month plan adds on unlimited profile views for other users, the ability to see every user who visits your profile, and read receipts on messages for $9.95 per month. Or, you can opt for the 12 month plan, which gives you the same features as the sixth month subscription, but for $8.95 per month. 

Read our full review of eharmony.

Read our comparison of eharmony vs. EliteSingles.

Who's online: eharmony's(opens in a new tab) membership pool consists of millions of singles who reside in all 50 U.S. states and more than 200 countries worldwide.

How it works: eharmony uses a compatibility matching system that pairs relationship hopefuls based on 32 different dimensions of compatibility. To get started, just fill out the relationship questionnaire, and once you're confirmed as legit, the website will start sending you your compatible matches.

How it helps introverts: eharmony(opens in a new tab) has a feature called RelyID that helps verify the information provided by other members, like their name, city, and age. You know what that means? No catfishing. Also, your profile is only visible to the people who are a good match for you, so the experience can help to narrow your potentials down to only those who are actually a good fit. 

Results from your personality quiz plus prompts you answer and photos you upload help steer conversation, so you'll have plenty of jumping off points. But there's also Guided Communication, a four-step program of communication with your matches, if you need a little extra help. Basically, it's a series of questions that help to break the ice. If that doesn't work, the site also offers free dating advice(opens in a new tab).

What it'll cost you: eharmony's pricing heavily fluctuates depending on where and when you sign up. Tentatively, one month of the service will cost you $59.95, three months cost $89.85, and six months go for $179.40. Regardless of current price, eharmony is one of the most expensive mainstream dating sites out there.

Read our comparison of eharmony vs. EliteSingles.

Who's online: EliteSingles(opens in a new tab) says its users are mainly educated, relatively affluent, adults between the ages of 30 and 55 who are in search of long-term commitment. The site breakdown by gender works out to be 56 percent women and 44 percent men with more than 170,000 users. 

How it works: In order to find like-minded matches, EliteSingles has you take an in-depth personality test. The test will evaluate you on your level of openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Based on the results, the smart profiling can send you three to seven compatible matches every day. 

How it helps introverts: Since the personality test can identify the traits that really make you who you are, the dating service can match you with exactly the type of personality you'd be most compatible with. 

The extensive personality testing leads to interesting conversation starters and it's easier to find people you'll have things in common with. You can even identify yourself as an introvert.

What it'll cost you: It's free to sign up, but if you want to enjoy any of the most important features like daily matches, it'll cost you $32.95 per month for three months or $17.95 per month for six months. If you just want to try it out for a month, the price is a little steep at $69.95. Each membership requires that you pay the entire duration upfront. While it's not the most expensive site out there, it does sit on the pricier end, especially considering its smaller user base.

Who's online: Lex(opens in a new tab) is made for womxn, trans, genderqueer, intersex, two spirit, and non-binary people.

How it works: Inspired by newspaper ads, Lex is a text-based app where you can write personal "ads" and notes about yourself or the type of partner you're looking for. There's no swiping and no selfies, though you can connect your Instagram if you'd like.

Features for introverts: Because there are no photos, you can really hide behind a screen and your words. Lex is more like a queer social media platform than a traditional dating app. You can post, edit, and delete your ads 24/7 and chat with other users via in-app messaging.

Lex is low-key and low-pressure with a community vibe. There are search and filter functions that allow you to find exactly what you're looking for. It's an especially great app if you're recently out and nervous about diving into the queer dating pool.

What it'll cost you: Nothing — it's totally free.

Who's online: Coffee Meets Bagel(opens in a new tab) is designed for busy singles who are looking to build real connections with little to no effort. Users are genuinely looking for something serious, so the combination of those factors means you'll find a lot of the young professional crowd in their late 20s and 30s on this app. 

How it works: CMB(opens in a new tab) uses an algorithm that takes into consideration basic info like your location, age, ethnicity, height, and religion, plus more nuanced criteria like your social network and interests to pair you with potential matches. While you used to need a Facebook account to log in, you now have the option of the using the social media site or your phone number.

Features for introverts: Instead of swiping, browsing, poking, and messaging your way into someone's inbox only to never hear back, this app will send you a potential match every day at noon. Men receive curated matches based on the algorithm and women will only be presented with potential matches (called Bagels) that have already expressed interest. LGBTQ members are sent preselected potential matches every day.

Once there's a connection, the app sends you to a private chat room with icebreaker questions to get things started. CMB also follows up to encourage your first date. Chatting expires after seven days to encourage people to actually start a conversation. It's all the convenience of connecting online, minus the overwhelming endless options. 

What it'll cost you: For a one-month membership, you'll pay $34.99. For three-month renewals the cost is $25 per month and for six-month renewals you'll pay $20 per month. 

Who's online: Since its debut in 2014, Happn has been challenging Tinder directly and has the same young swiping app crowd you'd expect. Happn has around 70 million users, with 1.5 million new users every month. While it doesn't have as many users as the big mainstream dating apps, it has a pretty decent user pool for what it's trying to do.

How it works: Believing in love at first sight is kind of hard when you're too nervous to introduce yourself at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you of other users nearby, so if you're too scared to talk to a random cutie on the train or in a coffee shop, Happn can help you match with them and tip you off to other singles who are nearby. It's like having a wingman (minus the bad jokes).

Features for introverts: While Tinder (and most other dating apps) use your location to some extent, most still require some effort to actually see the person IRL. 

Perhaps there's someone you pass on your walk every morning who has caught your eye, but you've accepted the fact that you'll never meet them — because there's no way in hell you're going to start a conversation. If your unidentified crush also has Happn, they'd essentially get a notification that you exist. If they're interested too, Happn will match you and the conversation can start from there. There's also an interactive map that shows everyone you've crossed paths with in the last seven days.

If you're really nervous, you can "secret like" someone and they won't know that you've liked them unless they also like you. This app has plenty of features for people nervous about traditional online dating.

The "Are you single?" conversation is easily one of the most awkward parts of going up to a hottie in a crowd, but Happn helps to detect who's looking and who's not (if they have the app, of course). AskMen's review said it best: "Happn formulates a happy medium between algorithmic online dating and chance encounters."

What it'll cost you: Most features are free, but you can upgrade to a premium account to see everyone who's liked you, use invisible mode to avoid matching with people at a certain location, hide information on your profile, and more. A premium account is $24.99 for one month, $89.99 for six months and $119.99 for 12 months.

Who's online: Those not just looking for a partner, but a current or future co-parent. This app for parents or parents-to-be fills an empty gap in the online dating marketplace, but since it did just go live in 2020, it doesn't have the most extensive user base yet. 

How it works: Being parents can help form a connection, but having similar approaches to parenting is what can make that connection last. That's why heybaby has its users answer a few questions up top, so once you start swiping, you can see your compatibility score with other users based on how many answers you have in common. On some profiles, you'll notice you can improve you score, which basically means you can answer the questions a potential has but you haven't — since the app only starts you out with three questions, this step is pretty crucial. 

Features for introverts: If you're a parent or want kids in the future, knowing when to bring that up with a potential partner can be a little anxiety inducing. Knowing that you're on the same page with someone from the get go can save you a lot of energy in the long run, so heybaby's pool of other parents and future parents alike helps add some ease into the search for your someone. 

heybaby also has a more involved process to make sure users are real. To become verified, you have to snap a pic of yourself copying a pose, basically functioning of the dating app version of a Reddit AMA picture. You won't get verified right away — the app emails you some hours later letting you know whether or not they accepted the picture as legit. 

What it'll cost you: Zero dollars — the entire app is totally free. 

Read our full review of Zoosk.

Who's online: Zoosk(opens in a new tab) has about 40 million users worldwide, which is an absolutely massive pool of singles. Unfortunately, you will probably run into more than a few inactive or bot accounts. 

How it works: Like a good wingman (or wing woman), Zoosk(opens in a new tab) starts to understand you more and more as time goes on to help introduce you to the person you can spend the night or rest of your life with. The site's unique algorithm recognizes your preferences through the actions you take. The more you interact with the site, the better it can match you with your ideal human. The only problem is, there doesn't seem to be a bunch of humans actually using the website. Once you log on, you'll realize that if Zoosk was once a great place to meet people, it's now a shadow of its former self. 

Features for introverts: The SmartPick can really be your best friend, serving as the best icebreaker. If both you and someone you're interested in both vote "yes" on each other's profiles, the SmartPick feature will let you know the good news by email and shoot you a message in your Zoosk inbox. Another good option is the Super Send feature, which could help eliminate the scary feeling from being the one to make the first move. Choose a message to break the ice, then allow Zoosk to blast it out to other members for you using Super Send. One huge downside is that you do have to pay to use either of these features, and again, you shouldn't expect that you'll even run into many active accounts. Basically, if you feel that every other dating site and app has let you down, Zoosk is technically an option. 

What it'll cost you: A one-month subscription will run you $29.95, three months costs about $20 per month, six months is $12.49 per month, and 12 months is $8.33 per month.

Read our full review of AdultFriendFinder.