The best dating apps for bisexual people: Where to meet people who get it

Read our full review of OkCupid.

Pros:

• Almost everyone on the app is going to be on the same page politically and socially

• Modern app design is actually fun to use

Cons

• User base might not be big in smaller towns

• Free version has pop-up ads

For young, liberal voters, politics aren't just a "well if we agree, it's great" thing when looking for a partner — it's the make or break for a solid foundation. OkCupid's 2017 redesign is more than just millennial aesthetics: It's geared toward ensuring that you don't end up on a date with someone who doesn't pay attention. The addition of 12 gender identities and 20 sexual orientations also makes it a safer space for non-binary and queer individuals to find love while using the pronouns that fit them.

The way that OkCupid targets more open-minded, sex-positive users seems to be translating to the experience that bi people have on the site. Megan from VA noticed that, compared to Tinder and Hinge, she received the least amount of gross messages from guys about her sexual experiences. Though she found her current partner on Tinder, she liked OkCupid the most:

"I like that the profiles were longer and I could see how they answered some questions that could be important to me before I even messaged them. That meant that if I didn’t agree with someone on a make or break issue to me, I could just not message them before putting the time into talking to them and learning that later."

Politics aren't the only compatibility factor here. OKCupid has in-depth user bios, but profile building isn't long or tedious at all. You'll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common with other daters based on the questions you both answer. It's an algorithm that OKC has been perfecting since their launch and we love them for that.

Privacy policy: OkCupid is part of Match Group, so its privacy policy is very similar to Match's. The company shares some of your information with third-party partners, though its policy says they follow a strict vetting process before working with any parter. Read the full privacy policy here.

Read our full review of AdultFriendFinder.

Pros:

• Something for every type of queer woman

• Space for community events

Cons

• Might run into fake profiles or couples looking for a third

• Poor user interface

Between creepy men pretending to be women and straight girls looking for another girl to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend, most heteronormative dating sites don't give bi women a great shot at finding a relationship. HER, an award-winning app made for queer women by queer women, is the perfect place to go if you're tired of the only queer woman you know being your ex girlfriend. 

The app that wants to "introduce you to every lesbian you've ever wanted to meet" is growing rapidly: HER has grown to 4.5 million users since its rebrand in 2015, and according to Statista, that's pretty damn close to what Bumble is working with — and they're ALL. WOMEN. If you tried HER a few years ago and were discouraged by swiping through the same people, your experience will be much different this time around.

In summer 2019, HER revamped its minimalistic profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences, and star signs, as well as a "What does this mean?" field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to create more well-rounded understanding of identity. There's also a space for a text bio where you can showcase your sense of humor and describe what type of relationship you're looking for. 

The app has groups like "newly out," "in a relationship/finding friends," and "travelers" to help you find your people. Plus, during the pandemic, HER has hosted online and virtual events.

Privacy policy: HER collects personal information that can identify you and anonymous information that is not tied to you. The company uses cookies for marketing purposes like emails to see if users are actually opening promotional emails. HER also uses third parties for advertising. There is not a clear way to opt out of cookies on its website unless you are a California resident. Read the full privacy policy here.

Pros:

• More genuine connections than Tinder without the pressure of a serious dating site

• Prompts provide conversation starters, so you aren't flooded with "hey" messages

Cons:

• Can't send photos, which sucks for sharing memes, but rocks for not getting unsolicited explicit pics

• You're limited to 8 matches per day

Young people looking to at least go on a few dates with the same person instead of everything turning into a friends with benefits situation was a major blind spot for dating sites — until Hinge blew up. The premise and user base might be in the Tinder and Bumble realm, but Hinge's unique profile criteria and algorithm based on that criteria set the scene for matches with real-life potential. Some 90 percent said the first date was great and 72 percent said they'd be down for a second date.

Despite the fact that we're actively seeking out new dating apps and feel a rush every time a cute contender swipes right back, no one looking for something serious wants to be on these. That's the whole idea behind Hinge's 2019 rebrand to "the dating app designed to be deleted." Instead of cheesy questionnaires and spam emails about the 50 winks you were sent, Hinge uses ice breakers, religion, education, and more to help you find matches you'll actually get along with. Though there's a mix of serious and casual users, Hinge's latest updates allows you to select your "Dating Intentions," so you can be clear about exactly what you're looking for, sans The Talk.

Instead of swiping, connections are made by liking or commenting on another person's prompt answers or photos. Prompts range from "Two truths and a lie" to "I'll pick the topic, you start the conversation." You can send eight likes per day with the free version of Hinge, but there isn't a limit to how many people can like you per day. Conversations are hidden after 14 days of inactivity to keep you focused on potential boos who are taking meeting seriously. Paying for Hinge Preferred also lets you filter by political views and other factors.

The focus on personality and interests is a nice change of pace from Tinder, where most of the focus is on selfies and whether you're DTF on the first date. Thoughtful responses are probably too much effort for most people who could simply use Tinder to scout threesome contenders or send nasty messages. Olivia from Texas told us why she prefers Hinge over other apps: 

"I feel like because they place such a heavy emphasis on your personality with all the question prompts it helps it feel more romantic, which is more palatable to people who were raised to believe that the only way to meet people is some kind of meet-cute or something."

She also mentioned that she finds way more real bi girls than unicorn hunters on Hinge. The number of Hinge downloads (including a surge in the number of gay profiles) tripled the summer after Pete Buttigieg revealed that he met his husband on Hinge.

Privacy policy: Hinge collects cookies for the website/app's functionality as well for third-party providers that work with the company. You have the option to opt-out of nonessential cookies. Read the full privacy policy here.

Pros:

• Users are open-minded and upfront about what they want

• Specifically designed for threesomes (or more-somes) so you don't have to troll Tinder looking for a third

Cons:

• You'll probably run into some bots or sex workers trying to promote themselves on the app

• Have to pay for features that allow for more anonymity

Bisexual people certainly aren't against using a dating app to get laid — they'd just prefer that it's not through the assumptions of a straight person. Created by a non-hetero and non-monogamous couple, Feeld is a dating app for couples and singles to find threesomes, foursomes, or however many people you want. (This isn't the first dating site to focus on non-monogamous sex, but it is the first to do it in a way that doesn't look like a scammy billboard ad.) Because more-than-two sex is the entire point of the app, most people are honest about what they're looking for — AKA no need to lie about unicorn hunting.

Sex positivity is the name of the game here, and not like the vulgar, dicks-everywhere kind that you'd see on AdultFriendFinder. Here, you can get specific about boundaries, find people with the same kinks, and say you're least interested in "cis het men" in your bio without people questioning you. And while "sit on my face" is the sexiest opening line that horny Tinder can think of, people on Feeld are generally chill, respectful, and can talk about sex without frothing at the mouth.

LGBTQ folks appreciate Feeld because it appreciates them. The app offers more than 20 sexual and gender identities and there's a comforting understanding between users about what those identities mean. According to the company's own stats, 35 percent of users are on the app with a partner and 45 percent identify as something other than heterosexual. The New York Times describes it as "a dating app with options that put the Kinsey scale to shame."

Privacy policy: Data like purchases, usage data, identifiers, and diagnostics may be used by third-party apps and websites. They also collect cookies on their website to recognize your device and your past preferences, though there are some nonessential cookies you can opt out of. Read the full privacy policy here.

Pros:

• Huge user base, even in small towns

• You can find pretty much any type of relationship whether you want a hookup or something long-term

Cons:

• Tons of App Store reviews talk about users getting banned from Tinder for seemingly no reason

• Don't be surprised if you get some gross messages and run into unicorn hunters

A shit show, a hot mess, a nightmare — all things our interviewees used to describe being bisexual on Tinder. Every bi woman we talked to immediately brought up being scouted by other female users (who were, of course, straight and in a relationship) just looking to find a third for a threesome, the real kicker being that most of them conveniently don't mention their motive right away. And because Tinder doesn't require a Facebook account to sign up, there's essentially no stopping a man from pretending to be a girl.

But you can't deny Tinder's role in connecting queer people who may not have signed up for a dating app otherwise. Despite an onslaught of gross opening lines from men who were simply blown away by the "bi" in her bio, Megan from VA found her current partner on Tinder.

Tinder is also helping people come out as bisexual or learn to navigate same-sex flirting for the first time. The now-ubiquitous swiping function gets shit for being shallow, but The Cut spoke to two people who said that the low-stakes vibe (less pressure than hitting up your first gay bar) made it easy to explore what they'd been thinking about after years of one gender exclusively: setting preferences to both men and women.

A partnership with GLAAD is making finding the right people much easier. In June 2019, Tinder expanded its orientation options to include bisexual, asexual, pansexual, and six more. Users can decide whether or not that's made public and can also opt to be shown people of the same orientation first. (37 gender identity options were also added a few years ago.) Problematic daters can still work around this if they're that devoted, but it's an appreciated step toward making Tinder a safer space for LGBTQ users. Users who pay for Tinder Gold can also undo a left swipe or see which users have liked their profile.

Privacy policy: Tinder has teams dedicated to keeping data secure and aims to be transparent in how your information is shared. Your information may be shared with third parties for data hosting, customer care, analytics, marketing, advertising, payment processing, and security operations. Read the full privacy policy here.

Pros:

• Virtually every gay gay looking to date is on Grindr

• Easier to find a hookup than Tinder

• You will likely get some unsolicited dick pics or NSFW messages from strangers

• Occasional biphobia

With Chappy shutting down in Feb. 2019, there aren't many apps specifically for gay or bisexual men that aren't some iteration of Grindr's ab pic and dick pic-filled feed. But even after a decade of the same horny agenda, Grindr remains a go-to for instantaneous location-based hookups for gay and bi men.

Going into it, bisexual men probably have an idea of what's coming on Grindr: nudity, pushy messages asking for nudity, and though it says it's an app for all queer people, probably not many women. But finding and meeting up with men on Tinder or OkCupid isn't always quick, especially if you're in a small town with a meager queer community. Whether it's your first time with a guy and you want someone experienced or you're the experienced once simply looking for a quick hookup with a man, it's nice to have Grindr in your back pocket. 

That's not to say it's not for relationships — one of my good friends met his current boyfriend on Grindr(opens in a new tab) — but on a surface level, it's ideal for quick, casual encounters. However, the Grindr for Equality campaign takes the app past being a simple hookup facilitator by advocating for sexual health and the safety of LGBTQ people in unsafe countries.

The main complaint from bisexual people about Grindr isn't that it's aggressively horny or 99 percent men. It's the biphobia. This entire thread of Reddit users have experienced it in some way, describing the disappointment they feel from not being supported by their LGBTQ community and getting messages like "vaginas are gross" at the first mention of being bisexual or anything that's not strictly gay. Grindr is technically advertised toward LGBTQ women as well, but because of the atmosphere on the app, they're few and far between.

Privacy policy: Grindr aims to be transparent with your privacy by sending privacy pop-up notifications that explain anything you might opt into. You're able to withhold some personal information. Some information is provided to third parties for advertising and service purposes. You are able to opt out of some cookies. Note: Grindr has had data breaches in the past. Read the full privacy policy here.

Pros:

• People you stay matched with actually respond within a timely manner (at least at first)

• Women message men first, which helps decrease any creepy intros

Cons:

• The 24-hour time limit on starting the conversation might be too fast for some

• While there are several gender identification tags, there are none for sexual orientations

Bumble made a name for itself with it's "women send the first message" model, which though a tad on the heteronormative side (either person can chat first with same-sex matches), can kind of help deter any creepy dudes away from bi women.

Without the chat feature applying to same-sex couples, Bumble does become a pretty similar experience to Tinder, minus a thing or two. Matches also go dead after 24-hours of no first messages — that means if you don't send a first message or your match fails to respond to your first message within 24 hours, the time for talk is over. You can extend that time with Premium features, but for those trying to actually a conversation, and even a meeting going, this certainly helps keep your match queue streamlined.

In terms of the specific Bumble bi experience, it is easy to look at people of all genders at the same time. However, profiles don't come with a tag to signify your own sexual orientation, so if you want people to know your bi, you'll have to throw it in your bio or through one of the prompts. Still, Bumble is one of the most popular dating apps in the game, so the chances you'll find someone are decently high. And if you're looking for queer pals, Bumble BFF isn't a bad place to go either.

Privacy policy: Bumble uses strictly necessary cookies for site functionality and also collects third-party cookies that link to social networks and that are used for advertising. You're able to manage your cookie preferences. It is worth noting that Bumble has had some security issues in the past. Read the full privacy policy here.